


Breaking from Within

by Moonliel



Series: Realizing Reality [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bad Team Dynamics, Civil War Team Iron Man, Gen, Introspection, Not A Fix-It, Not Captain America Friendly, Not Clint Barton Friendly, Not Steve Rogers Friendly, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), not team Cap friendly, not wanda maximoff friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 06:24:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13541592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonliel/pseuds/Moonliel
Summary: Actions tend to have consequences





	Breaking from Within

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to all the wonderful support [and my own muse] I have decided to expand on this universe. I admit I'm a bit concerned I won't be able to do all my fellow Team Iron Man fans/writers justice but I will try bc, as always, I am still salty AF and this story has been sitting in my head.
> 
> I hope I have all your continued support during this series!

**Natasha**

Natasha wanted to bash her skull in. After accusing Stark about pandering to his own ego she realized that she had just burned the bridge with the billionaire. Stark had looked raw, broken in ways Natasha could never understand. She never allowed anyone to get so close to her to do the level of damage she could feel radiating from Stark. It took some much needed self-reflection on her journey to Wakanda for her to come to terms that she had been compromised. 

She had wanted to believe that she did not pick Tony over Steve or Steve over Tony but it seemed that she had. Steve had always come first to her ever since they worked in the STRIKE Team and she had tried to get him a date as friends try to do.

It would almost be laughable that she had expected anything else except for the fact that by choosing a side, _choosing Steve,_ had cost her dearly. She used to pride herself on being able to escape, to get out of the tight spots and not have guilt hound her - unfortunately it was too late now.

She found herself within Wakanda’s borders and in an inescapable cell before she could even realize it was happening.

The days continued on, hot and stifling and boring and Natasha could do nothing but think and reunimate on her past actions, the inevitable consequences, and the harsh truth that she had undoubtedly _messed up_.

She usually wasn’t one for meditation. It had never been hard for her to just breathe in and focus and strike. However, she found herself meditating more and more in order to stymie the rising roar of anger that wanted to erupt from her throat. There was no way she was showing her raw emotions within Wakanda’s walls. The country had technology that rivaled Tony’s and she knew with certainty she was under surveillance.

Introspection had led her to understand that she had sided with Steve, and it wasn’t the first time. It seemed that letting him leave in Germany was the final nail in her coffin and she absolutely hated that she had made a bed she now had to lie on.

She knew why she came to Wakanda instead of hiding in the wind. 

_Sentiment was such a bitch._

Natasha thought that the Red Room had washed it all away, had broken her and rebuilt her into this _thing_ that did not care, _could not_ care but she had been whittled and softened by Clint, Coulson, Fury and later by Steve and Bruce.

She thought she was doing the right thing. The lesser of two evils. That’s what originally signing the Accords was suppose to be. _One hand on the wheel..._

If Natasha could muster up the emotion she would hate herself, but even now she could not find it in her. Instead she redirected it, moved targets, created collateral damage as long as it spared her.

She would stare at Steve and the rage bubbled in her lungs, her throat ached with holding back the vitrol, the anger, ~~the fact that it was her fault and not Steve’s….~~

Meditation helped, to a degree.

So Natasha tried not to stare, not to speak, not to interact because if she did, she wasn’t sure what she was capable of doing.

 

**Wanda**

Escaping from the RAFT had been a breeze once Steve had removed the collar around her neck and tore the straight jacket from her torso. She knew she could always count on Steve to help her, to protect her. When Clint came by and held her until her tremors went away she felt comforted.

Once steadied she let her magic flow through her body, her hands sparking red as she invaded minds and twisted thoughts until they had a straight shot out. That Lang guy kept side-eyeing her but he wasn’t important.

What was important was the fact that Stark had locked her up.

Stark had locked her up _again._

Stark had collared her like an animal.

Stark made her turn against Vision.

Stark hurt Steve, hurt Clint, hurt _her_.

And now Stark would pay.

+++

Wakanda was a beautiful country and when she had joined the Avengers she had no idea she would be traveling so much. But soon, too much time passed and the walls started to feel like they were closing in.

She tried not to think about Lagos and the only way she could get through it was by repeating Steve’s words over and over.

_This job...We try to save as many people as we can. Sometimes that doesn’t mean everybody, but, if we can’t find a way to live with that, next time...maybe nobody can be saved._

+++

She tried controlling her powers more carefully, especially after the RAFT. She would never be caged again. Her magic was hard to contain sometimes. Whenever she thought of Stark it felt like magma flowed through her veins. It ran hot, thick, and it needed to get out. She could recall a moment when Sam had yelped after a stray spark hit him.

Steve had talked to her about meditation, to maybe talk to Natasha about some techniques, but Wanda didn’t care. She coveted this anger, let it grow and overflow whenever she wished because if she did not then she would inevitably think about Vision and then feel empty instead.

+++

She didn’t realize she wasn’t talking to anyone until one night she got up for a midnight snack and Clint was there, head bent over a photograph. He seemed sad and Wanda didn’t know what to do. After Pietro had died Clint had started to look after her. He was solid and steadfast and Wanda knew he would stand by her as Pietro had stood by her.

Wanda had sat on the stool next to Clint in a show of silent support. When she glanced over the photograph was a picture of a lovely woman and two children, a boy, a girl and a baby.

“Your family?” she whispered and Clint nodded.

“Are they alright?” Wanda admitted that she didn’t know much about them except that they lived on a farm somewhere.

“I hope so,” Clint had answered and it sounded like he had been crying. His eyes were red and puffy and one of his hands was clenched tightly into a fist.

“It’s Stark’s fault, you know,” Wanda added. How dare Stark keep Clint away from his family, his _children_?! Hadn’t that monster done enough already?

Clint turned to look at her.

“I know,” he replied and his eyes cleared their tears and hate blazed instead.

**Clint**

He was glad they were gone from the RAFT and into the safe walls of Wakanda. It was rough for a while. Wanda didn’t really talk to anyone and Steve was no help once Barnes went into cryo. The blond would spend most of his time sitting with Sam on the couch. They talked in hushed voices but for once Clint didn’t care to spy on anyone.

He couldn’t believe that Stark had thrown them in jail, had collared Wanda! It was bad enough that he was trying to turn them all into government weapons but now Stark had also locked them out of the country.

He wanted to see Laura and the kids so much that his heart ached with longing.

Clint wanted to punch someone, wanted to punch Stark in his stupid face, wanted to claw at his skin and tear it off.

Natasha was a surprise, but it shouldn't have been. Nat had always tried to do what worked best for her. She sided with Stark and Clint wasn’t sure he could forgive her. Then he looked into those cool green eyes and could see a swirl of emotions he couldn’t pin. He couldn’t forsake her.

It had been the three of them for a long time. Nat, Clint and Coulson. Then Coulson died and it was just them. Clint wanted to hold onto that. No matter what Natasha had done in the past she was with them now. They chatted sometimes but it didn’t seem to be of anything important. They were learning to trust each other again and were being careful not to step on any emotional landmines.

He had asked her about Laura and the kids. She said they were safe and that was enough for him.

Once settled Clint had asked T’Challa if he could have a phone to call his wife and children to let them know that he was alright, but the king refused. He said that their political standing was too dangerous to open a line of communication. 

They were essentially on the run from the law and it was all Stark’s fault.

It was his fault that Clint couldn’t see his wife and beautiful children. If Stark hadn’t pushed for the Accords then none of them would have been here!

**Scott**

It took Scott only a few seconds after he woke up to realize that he had messed up.

Big Time.

Hawkeye, Scarlet Witch, and Falcon were in the cells around him as well as some other criminals.

Cassie was going to be so mad at him, not to mention Maggie and Hope.

Scott shuddered. Well, surely Hope would understand? Hank hated Stark - that had to count for something and besides, it was Captain America. 

When Captain America needs your help, you just gotta help.

+++

Once at Wakanda the full scope of his actions started to weigh on him. He had no way of contacting anyone back home and he couldn’t imagine just how worried Cassie was going to be ~~or how pissed off Hope probably was.~~

He was out on parole and what had he decided to do? Fight a bunch of superheroes in an airport?

(Okay, that was actually pretty cool and that whole “I’m your conscience” line was classic.)

On their way to Wakanda everyone was pretty wired and so Scott didn’t pry. A few days in, once things managed to calm down and people got a routine going, Scott finally managed to work up the nerve and talk to Captain America about what was going on.

When they first met up he didn’t really ask any questions. Hawkeye and Scarlet Witch didn’t have any answers for him aside from “psycho assassins”. Captain America had warned him that they were going outside of the law for this.

What he hadn’t expected was that he was going outside the U.N. Law that had been accepted by over 100 sovereign states, or that they were being chased by the Avengers. Despite hating Stark, Scott had to admit that the Iron Man and War Machine (never Iron Patriot) armors were an engineers wet dream. Didn’t make Scott stop and think about attacking them though.

+++

After confronting Steve about the Accords and realizing that the man wasn’t really sure what they were about, alarm bells started ringing in his head. Did Steve really not know what he was fighting against?

It took him a few days of nagging, begging, and pleading to get someone to speak to him about the Accords. He stayed in the library and away from everyone as best he could. His thoughts would constantly stray to Cassie and just how fundamentally he’d screwed up. There was no way Paxton was going to be able to get him out of this one.

The only thing Scott had going for him was that Stark seemed to keep forgetting who he was so hopefully he could avoid charges on that front.

Hope might not be as lenient.

+++

Nowhere in the Accords did it say that the Avengers were going to be a overglorified strike force. Sure there were restrictions in place from traveling through various countries, but it wasn’t as confining as Steve made it seem. From what Hope had explained after he fought Sam that first time, the Avengers were created as an Earth peace-keeping unit. They were not meant to combat terrorism or local crimes, they were meant to fight the big fights, like aliens.

Scott had wanted to join up so bad, because what was cooler than fighting aliens?

+++

King T’Challa let him speak to Hope. Apparently she was actually asking for him. Before she could say anything Scott spat out a mixture of heartfelt apologies, how he now understood the Accords better, how he missed her and Cassie and Maggie and hell, even Hank and Jim.

Hope let him talk, let him cry over how bad he screwed up and let him stew in his guilt before she said, “Sign and come home.”

He never felt such relief. 

**James Buchanan ”Bucky” Barnes**

He felt numb and it wasn’t due to the harsh cold air of Siberia.

When he fought against Stark it was all on instinct and he almost vomited with how close he was to becoming the Winter Soldier again without the help of the chair.

Stark attacked him so he attacked back. It was self-defense.

….wasn’t it?

+++

“What did I do, Steve?” James had asked as he thought about his metal hand closing tightly over a woman’s fragile neck.

“It wasn’t you, Buck.”

The words weren’t reassuring.

+++

T’Challa, a man who had tried to kill him mere hours before was now to be his savior (or jail warden). They were given rooms in his palace and Bucky had never been in a place with so much finery.

He hated it.

+++

Steve kept talking to him but he couldn’t muster the energy to respond. Memories flooded his mind whether he was asleep or awake. Now that he had been away from HYDRA and the chair for so long the memories were having an easier time filtering through. Being triggered recently probably had a lot to do with it.

Steve thought it was great that he was getting his memories back, that he was close to being ‘Bucky’ again. James didn’t have the heart to tell him that those weren’t the memories he was reliving.

+++

The look on Stark’s face when he saw that video haunted his nightmares. 

+++

He heard chatter that a jet was landing. It was ridiculously easy to sidestep Steve and James almost felt sick at using his Winter Soldier skills. However, those skills, no matter how abhorrent, were what helped him sneak into the meeting room.

Sneaking around Wakanda was no easy feat and his heart practically throbbed every second.

The repulsor to the chest was probably well deserved.

+++

“I need you to put me back into cryo, please!” James pleaded as his eyes moved from T’Challa to the woman at his side to Stark.

“I’m dangerous, I can’t allow myself to be triggered again,” he continued on to beg even after the bodyguards flanked him on each side.

Stark’s arm was broken and in a sling. His face was littered with bruises and cuts and he kept rubbing his chest. He was dressed handsomely in a suit with red-tinted sunglasses over his eyes and an Iron Man gauntlet covering his hand.

He forced himself to look at the man he wronged, the man who he made into an orphan and left alone in a HYDRA base. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so damn sorry, please, just please, don’t let me hurt anyone ever again.”

Stark shared a look with T’Challa. The king nodded and Stark looked a mixture of resigned and determined.

“What do you know about BARF, Barnes?”

James shot him an incredulous and confused look and Stark smirked.

+++

“You can’t Bucky! It wasn’t you!” Steve argued. James sighed. 

“Look punk, I can’t keep livin’ with these words in my head. Who knows how many other people know ‘em. I’m not safe to be around and I don’t feel safe either.”

“No one can get you here. T’Challa said this place is a veritable fortress!”

“You don’t understand - “

“Then help me understand,” Steve cried, “It’s my turn to protect you, Bucky. Same as how you protected me, remember? Till the end of the line, pal,” said Steve with a smile. James wasn’t convinced in the slightest.

“I’m so sorry, Stevie,” said James as the doors opened and he was led away by two Dora Milajes.

“Buck…”

James turned around one last time. “Won’t be forever, Steve,” he promised.

+++

“So I figured king kitty cat can send me your brain scans, x-rays and all that other fancy medical mumbo jumbo and you can be sleeping beauty for a while so as to not draw attention of the wrong sort,” said Stark over the video conference call.

James shrugged. “Whatever you think is best.”

Stark hummed in reply. “You trust me that much?” he asked with steel in his voice, or perhaps it was iron.

James shrugged again. “I have to and I do,” he answered and Stark looked genuinely surprised. He clapped once and a few holographic screens appeared around him.

“Alright then, let’s get this show on the road. See you on the other side, popsicle.”

James managed a small smile on his face.

**Sam**

He couldn’t believe Stark. He had trusted him and what had he done? He went and attacked Barnes and Steve after promising to go there as a friend.

Sam felt guilty for Rhodes’ injury and even now he still didn’t know the status. That was why he told Stark about Siberia. His own soft heart was turned against him.

Sam tried to hate Stark for that, for using him to try and take Steve in but he couldn’t. Everything was starting to fall to pieces and now Sam found himself in a foreign country and no idea on how he was getting home.

The funny thought that he had a light and gas bill to pay before they cut off the service passed through his head and he couldn’t stop laughing for a solid minute.

He wasn’t sure he was cut out for this, being an Avenger. He wanted to be, he helped take down HYDRA and he fought the Accords, he fought the good fight. 

After ULTRON he thought the world needed him, that he could make a difference. Sitting by the sidelines and watching his friends fight not only for their lives but for the world? Yeah, Sam wanted in on that too. There was no way he was not going to help people.

+++

Steve liked chatting with him and normally Sam enjoyed it too. They both tried not to think too hard about the fact that this wasn’t a vacation or that they weren’t at the Avengers Compound and that worked just fine for a while.

Then Natasha came and Clint’s rants started up all over again. Wanda and her admittedly frightening powers made him wary and Scott’s silence felt judgemental. The utter lack of Barnes was also telling.

So Sam let Steve talk, vent, complain - whatever he needed. He was good at listening to people, at mediating differences and conflict. He tried to get two sides of the story in order to have them come to a compromise and make it work. Sam had wanted Steve and Clint to talk out their issues regarding Stark.

The fact that it was an utter failure surprised no one.

+++

117 countries, including the United States, had passed the Accords.

Sam took a moment to remember that he was military and as such swore to uphold the law of the country. 

He took a look around him and started wondering where he went wrong.

 

**THE END**


End file.
